OPINION: What to Remember When Things Get Tough

By Tonya Chase, West Virginia contributor

Sometimes, things can seem dark. It doesn't have to be that way. STOCK PHOTO: Derrick Knight / Knight Images

The opinions expressed in this piece represent the thoughts of this contributor and not of HomeRoom Show Choir.

In 2002, my husband and I walked the halls of the Guggenheim exhibit at the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas.  While each work was extraordinary, my eye was caught a piece, Black and Violet Composition.  The Wassily Kadinsky composition spoke to me as I followed the brush strokes of red on top of the gold.  It was vibrant and moving, enough for me to buy a postcard and frame it.  Decades later, we look for a Kadinsky painting at every city we visit.  Even as I’m writing this, I’ve looked into getting a larger print, if only I had an appropriate space to hang it. 

As a mom of two children in the show choir world, one a performer and one an arranger, I’ve watched their disappointments over the last six years.  I’ve been there when they weren’t chosen for a solo or a part in a musical.  I’ve been there when they were “robbed” of best performer or a better placement at a competition.  I’ve been there when they’ve made mistakes and wondered if it cost their choir.  Each time my answer has been the same.  In a world were almost everything is subjective and up to the interpretation of the receiver, “you’re not going to be everyone’s Kadinsky.” 

But what do you do when things don’t go your way?

While today I am a parent, I was first a performer.  We only wore one costume and learned choreography watching Show Choir Camps of America VHS tapes, but the emotion felt from disappointment and frustration was still the same.  What my fourteen-year-old self didn’t realize is that everyone from the student to the judge is a human being with preferences, strengths and shortcomings.  So before you head into this week’s competition, it may be valuable to take the following into consideration.

1. Everyone makes mistakes. 

You are part of a team, and you don’t want to be the weakest link, but sometimes things happen.  Maybe a strap broke on your dress or your shoe falls off.  Maybe you missed an entrance or rushed the dance break.  Own it.  Do not blame your dance captain, section leader, drummer or dance partner for your error.  Not taking responsibility shows an unwillingness to develop as a performer and team mate.  At the same time, give yourself grace.  Don’t let perfectionism be the enemy of a mostly great performance.    

It is also important to extend that same grace to your teammates when they make mistakes.  You never know what someone is dealing with before they come on stage.  Make show choir a safe place for everyone - where we say “you’ll get it next time” instead of “you should know this by now.” 

2. Judges are people.

You are sitting in the gymnasium listening to preliminary awards being announced, and you expectantly find yourself praying you make finals.  Art is subjective.  Maybe the judges don’t like your theme, or costumes, or song choice.  Maybe they prefer a more traditional form of show choir as opposed to a theatrical one.  Just recently, my fellow contributors and I saw the same performance in person and came to different opinions based on our biases.  (He was listening to the tenors while I was focused on the coloratura.)  Sometimes a judge’s relationship with a choir (choreographer, clinician, etc.) gives them a blindness because they see what they created as opposed to what is on the stage.  Maybe you have the same blindness about your own performance remembering how the solo was supposed to sound instead of how it did.  It happens.  Applaud the winners, take in the critiques and move on to the next performance. 

3. Hosts are volunteers.

I’ve been to a few competitions as a student and parent where there was an egregious scoring error.  Having a competition with scoring issues is just as devastating to a host school as it is to the ones involved.  Be humble, and do not ascribe intent.  Most people working a competition are parents who spend thousands of dollars in team packs and hotels to see their children do the same thing you’re doing.  Some are members of the school who know nothing about show choir but are meeting the demands of community service requirements.  Be respectful and leave the debate to your director. 

This doesn’t absolve a competition director from properly communicating the error.  Informing the audience prevents confusion if not skepticism of the results.  Approaching the matter with humility will preserve the integrity of the competition at the time and in the future.

4. A smile is more valuable off stage than it is on. 

Most situations can be defused with a kind word, whether it be to a teammate, an opponent, a host member, or yourself.  Being a person of great character is more important than being a great performer.  The interpersonal skills you develop will have lifelong benefits that far exceed your time on the stage.  While it is true that you represent your school, more importantly, you represent yourself.  Be the person you would need, even when others are not. 

Whether your next competition goes the way you want it to or not, keep these four things in mind. Your day will be brighter, your outlook more positive, and you'll already be looking forward to the next time you perform.